Story Time: My Lolita Tale

First Row(left to right): Gothic, Sweet, Shiro, Kuro
Second Row: Hime, Country, Sailor, Classic
Third Row: Punk, Guro, Ero, Maid/Cosplay
Fourth Row: Aristocrat, Wa, and lastly, Oji/Kodona

It's really not as dramatic as the title, hehe. But here we go. This is my lolita story. I first encountered lolita probably through anime when I was young. Maybe 14 or so. It was punk lolita. Chains, ties, cool metal stuff on my clothes, eyeliner...it looked (and still looks) pretty cool to me, even if at the moment I definitely wouldn't do it, but respect those who do. But at the time I was into covering my figure a lot. I was conscious about me being fat, gross, ugly, all of that...and even though I really wanted to be into lolita, this was my first road block that stopped me...my own self-consciousness.

But eventually I got the courage to want to try in the privacy of my own home. There was a black punk lolita blouse I saw, with some chains and a tie, and my boyfriend (now ex boyfriend) offered to buy it for me, which he did. I wanted to wear it because I thought looked good...and wearing it made me feel good, even if I may not actually look good in it. But I was still, at this point, conscious of what others thought if I stepped out in it. What if it was bursting at the seams and people were laughing, cringing, or trying to avoid me? So even if I wore it, I always wore it in my room, door closed. Not even my parents knew. No one knew, but myself and my ex.

Punk lolita. Really showing my 'rebellious' colors here. An old picture, I can tell, but the blouse I gotten had a similar tie.

But what really pushed me to want to be more lolita? Well, for one, cons. When I went to my first convention, it was towards the end of my freshman year. It was Anime Central and though they were quite new at the time (only maybe 3 years in? 4?), lots of people attended, including lolitas. I marveled and my heart sang as I saw lolitas in the most beautiful attire. I knew it was love when stars were in my eyes. Thinking about it now makes me smile because a love like that is remembered so well by my heart. A love for innocence and grace and beauty that I feel to put in my life even today.

It's these kinds of lovely ladies I saw at cons that pushed me into wanting to be more lolita.

Being introduced to new lolita styles sparked me as well. I really loved gothic lolita and even dropped punk lolita for it. It's dark motif and for sophisticated feel ruled over it, especially over time as I was transitioning into an adult. I thought that classic lolita was rather boring and bland, unlike the other lolita types.

One of my first loves, the Elegant Gothic Lolita.

I still didn't do anything about it till a few years later. The reason why is because lolita clothes are terribly expensive and not only this, all of it piles on. Beyond a skirt or JSK (abbreviation for jumperskirt, or in other words, a common dress you see in lolita fashion), you need a petticoat underneath that. And underneath that, you need bloomers to protect your legs. And then below that, stockings, since it's rather improper to show leg as a lolita, since it promotes modesty over sexiness. And then below that, shoes, that can be a large array in your closet, all used quite frequently.

Enough said.......

It was so much for a young teenager, living with her parents and the household wasn't rich at any means. I never really asked for anything from my parents...because I never wanted to put strain on the bills they already had to pay. I actually started to work because I wanted money for my own lolita wardrobe...but felt guilty when my mom told me I should just put it in a savings account for the future. So my wardrobe never came to fruition. But what I did do was weaning off of pants...and into dresses and skirts. I started wearing shoes with more heel, stockings and leggings and wore headbands and hair accessories nearly every day.

Whenever I attended cons, I made a statement to go to every lolita panel I could. At one, I was introduced to making lolita based rosettes, which I still know the procedure today as well. I was smitten to even think that I could make anything lolita and it kinda opened up the world for me. I could actually try to make lolita based stuff? Whoa...also at this point, I was introduced to current trends of lolita, like sweet lolita, wa-loli, and qi lolita as well as new trends of lolita, including fairy kei and mori girl.

Mori Girl style, based on wearing nature like colors and having accessories, patterns, etc that have to do with the forest and the earth. Such a beautiful sub style and in my opinion, the most 'willowy'.

Though sweet lolita didn't attract me before, I started to embrace my feminine side at the time. In fact, I was starting to embrace everything I loved and who I was. I was done rejecting dresses because it was a sign of 'female oppression'. I was done rejecting what I thought to be female beauty, just because it didn't fit with what everyone else thought was beautiful. I was done with rejecting pink because it was associated with 'girliness'. Why couldn't I love dresses because I thought they were beautiful! And I just liked pink! What was wrong with that??

Sweet lolita taught me to be more child-like and not be afraid of feeling that way. 

This mentality translates to me even now. Love who you are and what you love because you love them...not because others love them or even want you to love them. There's nothing wrong with that. And I think that mentality should ring in many lolita's heads, especially if they're going to try this fashion style. Lolita is not for those who are easily swayed by public opinion, since it so boldly states its own on your body. You have to be able to defend that feeling that this is who you are and who you have accepted and love the most. If you don't love it to the utmost, perhaps put little parts of lolita into your every day, but don't be upset if you go out in full lolita clothing and get stares or end up getting harassed by strangers.


A year or two ago, I finally got my first lolita JSK, a red one from Emma Botari, a local lolita dress maker and student. I was at a con, a small one, when I saw she was selling some for cheap...and asked her for the best price. She told me $80 and I was sold. Even though it was classic lolita, I loved it and this actually made me embrace how simple, yet elegant classic lolita can look. It fit perfectly and still does.

Examples of Classic Lolita, Emma Botari (Industrial Kitty)'s prominent style, by Innocent World. It's a sub style of lolita that I started to enjoy.

But when I got the dress, it was like a craze...I wanted more. I got bloomers from her next, long striped bloomers, which I thought were adorable.I started looking at brand names like Baby The Stars Shine Bright, Mary Magdalene, Bodyline and Angelic Pretty, even if I didn't have the money for them. I simply enjoyed wearing them in my head. And then some years afterwards, I started to sew my own skirts. :> They're not the same quality as amazing brands like the ones stated, but it's a start and I'm happy with that.

A beautiful black x white lolita dress by Mary Magdalene, a brand that features more Classic styled dresses.

Being a lolita has been a journey and by all means I'm not an expert, even after so many years. Lolita fashion changes and is fickle every year, but the basics have always seemed to stand...so those are the only things I can guide beginners to what lolita style is: it's most basic form. And while I understand that there are many who do not like lolita fashion, I do. I love it very dearly, ascetically and how it changed and molded who I am inside. It has taught me one of the most important things in my life...you can be humble and modest, yet still be happy to show who you are and look damn fabulous doin it.

Anyway, thanks for reading the longest post I've ever written. :> I really hope you liked it.